Saturday night My Sisters and my cousins took my Mom
and her sister out to celebrate my Moms 80th birthday.
It was a beautiful restaurant that my Aunt had chosen
how ever she could only remember it by " you know the
one with the weater wheel".
Luckily her daughters figured it out and got everything
all set up.
Have you ever seen 2 women in their 80s drink a little
too much?
Oh its a hoot.
To start the night off we all ordered drinks and had
to tell our mothers what they wanted as they always
say , well what are you having.
Then the waitress was asking my aunt what she
wanted to eat and my aunt turned to my cousin and
told her instead of the waitress and my cousin had
to tell her...typical thing my mom does too.
What's up with that???
Well my aunts trying her best to get our attention
and has an envelope and paper in her hand, it looked
important to her and my sister asked us all to listen for
a minute as it appeared she had a little speech or a
toast or something nice to say to mom...no, she had
coupons for us all...too funny.
Now the second drinks and the third drink for some
came into play.
Aunt Avis let loose, her lips were a swinging.
Somehow sex became a topic. Aunt Avis told me
it never dies.
My cousin Martha confirmed she calls and tells her
when it occurs...twice a month.
My God they are 83 and 87 and having sex twice
a month!
She also keeps track of it on a calendar.
I think we were all wondering why till she
explained it.
She said " Ill tell ya, ya know what ya do,
you make a little circle on the calendar and put a
dot in it,so you can keep track to be sure you only
have to do it twice a month.".
Then we all comment on what we are or are not getting
in that department .
She then tells us my uncle goes to sleep right after
and she dont know why he bothers be cause
he dont --- anymore.
We laughed so hard that night we almost peed
our pants.
My mom had a comment or too but I cant recall
what they were.
Other than telling us she had no boyfriend but she
had a man friend.
She was less vocal that night...lol
I think we should rent my family out to parties.
They decided to go to the bathroom at the end of the
meal together and I thought my Aunt was going over.
Both stood up turned away from the table to head out,
but took a minute to pick out their wedges
before continuing.
My cousin then asked
" ok who's ass do you want my mothers or yours?".
My sister decided to join the elderly sisters
in the bathroom in fear that one may fall over.
She said my mother farted a ripper in the stall
and my aunt hollers "Phoebe are you alright"?.
We found out a few things we didn't know.
Aunt Avis had to tie Martha to a chair with a belt
on occasion, perfectly legal in those days...lol
The girls thought we were given all their favorite
toys but I think my aunt just told them that so
they didn't know she threw them away.
We don't remember that and neither
did my mom...lol
We found out they loved coming to our small
apartment and hearing the bird and running
through the connecting rooms.
We always loved going to their house as it was
so big and beautiful like a castle.
I was always so impressed with my aunts lazy
susan under her counter in the cabinet and
the toy shed was awesome.
My sister remembers swimming in a kiddy pool,
in our undies and a bird pooping on one of our arms.
I also loved the driveway as it went all the way
around the house.
Funny what goes through a child's mind and
how the simplest things are the greatest memory's
we keep .
We have to do this more often!!
